With my wedding in just under 7 short months, it has me thinking a lot about how far I’ve come in my life to get to this point. I strongly remember a time in my 20’s where everyone I knew was getting married. Years went by, and I still was not in a good place, I definitely was not with the right guy, and I was really unhappy all around. Everyone’s life and relationship timelines are different, and I did not need to compare myself to other people. It took me a long time and many obstacles to get through to fully appreciate and enjoy where I am today.
I’ve learned so much about myself over the years. I finally have the strength to listen to myself when I know something doesn’t feel right. Sometimes in my relationships I stayed way longer than I should have with the hopes that things would get better. In all honestly, the exact opposite happened. I began to trust my gut, and I started walking away from situations I knew weren’t going anywhere. It wasn’t about keeping up with my friends or the thought process of having to be with someone since I’m in my 30’s. What was and still is important to me is being 100% happy in my life no matter what life timelines are meant to portray.
Here’s 5 reasons why life timelines aren’t worth the stress:
- What’s Meant To Happen, Will Happen
Just because it wasn’t happening for me at the time I wanted it to, doesn’t mean it was never going to happen. Patience isn’t my strong suit, but I needed to be patient knowing that my time would come. It’s hard not knowing when. I never thought I would be 32 and just now be getting married. It got extremely discouraging sometimes hearing “what’s meant to happen, will happen” is not easy but it’s very true. I couldn’t force something in my life that wasn’t meant to be. It happens when it’s supposed to.
- Timelines Don’t Define You
Honestly when I turned 30 I was newly single. It seemed scary to me that I needed to start all over again. I absolutely hated the thought of dating. I didn’t know anyone who was dating around my age. If they weren’t married, they were in a committed relationship. The thought of if you don’t meet someone early on, you’ll never find someone in this small town was going through my head, but i thought “Who cares?” “So What I’m 30 and single.” I wasn’t going to let a timeline define me. Timelines aren’t about who you are as a person.
- Everyone Has A Different Story
We live in a world today where social media paints a pretty picture. We rarely get to know behind the scenes. Whenever I would vent to my mom when I was feeling alone she would always tell me “Everyone’s lives are not always what they seem.” Meaning that although it seems that people’s lives are perfect, it doesn’t mean that they are. It felt like I was going through this alone when actually everyone deals with something. I just needed to be reminded of that.
- Relationships Shouldn’t Be Difficult
I always thought that marriage and kids would instantly make me happy. From the outside looking in it seemed like that. I figured out that if I wasn’t happy dating someone, which was supposed to be the easiest and most fun time in your relationship, then I certainly wasn’t going to be happy when the relationship got real. When it’s to the point of breaking up and getting back together all the time, it’s time to call it quits and move on. Don’t be in a relationship because you think you have to.
- Stop Being Afraid and Live Your Life
Breaking up is one of the hardest things to do. Its scary to have that conversation. It’s easier to stay. It’s easier to have hope. Someone once told me I shouldn’t have to hope in my relationship. When I started listening to my gut, I felt stronger. I felt like I finally figured out who I am and who I want to be with. The break up part was easier since I knew the relationship wasn’t going anywhere. I learned I was wasting my time on people who didn’t deserve it. After that I really began to live my life and enjoy the people and things that really made me happy. Life got a whole lot better after that.
What life timelines are you going through right now? Is there any advice you’ve receive that you would add to this list.